That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
this beer tastes like vomit already
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
