playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
