I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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