Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
