so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
