dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
