Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
