As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
