Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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