Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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