Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
