If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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