dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Randomize
