According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
