That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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