so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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