Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
my being single is dangerous.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
