The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
