Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
