hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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