Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
