Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
