Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize