...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
