So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
