im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
