The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
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