He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
How's work?
Spinning.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
