Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
