I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
