Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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