We're facebook friends in real life
I hate all girls vehemently.
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
