Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
