I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
