Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
honey bunches of taint.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
