she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
