Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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