This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize