would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I just forgot I was standing up.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
