If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
