Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
