WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
