Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
