That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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