You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
