You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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