My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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