He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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