At least make sure they are 18
Why
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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