brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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