last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
