and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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