Kiss
Puke
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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