I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
