My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Im part way to drunk.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Randomize
