Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
