Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
