16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
