please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
